HUMOR

 

You've Gone Too Far

Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all.
Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three.
"Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! Goldblum! The ashtrays in your temple so My people could smoke while the Torah was being read?"
Goldblum shuddered.
God went on, "I can live with that. Men are weak, but the Word is strong!"
Goldblum sighed with relief.
"Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat. But really, serving Ham & Cheese Sandwiches to the devout at the temple during Yom Kippur?" Bauman hung his head in shame.
"Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that which is not Kosher. I'm not pleased at all with the playing fast and loose with my people, but I can accept these indiscretions."
Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief.
Finally, He turns to the third rabbi and says, "You, Rabinowitz, have gone too far! Am I asking too much? No, you flaunt the world at Me, even on the holiest days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur by putting out a sign saying...'Closed for the Holidays!'."

 

Anti-Semitism

A guy in Paris saw a pit bull attacking a toddler.
He killed the pit bull and saved the child's life.
Reporters swarmed the fellow.
"Tell us! What's your name? All Paris will love you! Tomorrow's headline will be: "Parisian Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!"
The guy says, "But I'm not from Paris.
"Reporters: "That's OK. Then the whole of France will love you and tomorrow's headline will read: 'French Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!'"
The guy says, "I'm not from France, either."
Reporters: "That's OK also. All Europe will love you. Tomorrow's headlines will shout: 'European Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!'"
The guy says, "I'm not from Europe, either.
"Reporters: "So, where ARE you from?
The guy says, "I'm from Israel.
"Reporters: "OK. Then tomorrow's headlines will proclaim to the world: 'Israeli Kills Girl's Dog!'"

 

 

 

WISDOM

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call
what they do "practice?"